


Unprofessional Conduct

by elwon



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Background Roy Harper/Jade Nguyen, Dick's his client, Fluff, Jason's an uber driver, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 07:17:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16782235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elwon/pseuds/elwon
Summary: Uber driver!Jason likes his regular client, Dick, but Dick’s either super drunk and hitting on him or he’s with this red haired dude that he might be dating? Jason’s not sure. Dick on the other hand, is partying after a truly terrible break up and he’s found this nice, kind, Uber driver that doesn’t judge how he goes out twice a week to get totally hammered (and he’s hot). And sometimes Roy’s there to stop Dick doing something stupid like call his ex up and take him home.





	Unprofessional Conduct

Jason’s been a driver for Uber for about three months now, and he’s been enjoying it for the most part, aside from the occasional cleaning up in the backseat, and the few pick ups that are actually prank calls. He’s even picked up some regulars, which he feels is an achievement for such a short period of time. If it isn’t, he doesn’t want to know. But the highlight of his week is one particular passenger. Who happens to be his first ever, in fact.

This passenger picks him at least twice a week, Saturday mornings and Sunday mornings regularly, always in the early hours of the morning. Dick’s ridiculously hot, with bright blue eyes, plush full lips, a jaw line to die for, and soft looking, oh so touchable, black hair. He usually stumbles into the back of Jason’s car in a totally dishevelled mess, shirt all loosely undone and tight trousers in disarray, usually drunk out of his mind.

The reason this is the highlight of his week is that Dick usually hits on him. In all honesty, Dick’s pick up lines are awful, around the level of a middle school boy, but somehow with his happy, relaxed grin and undeniable charm, his lines manage to be endearing. Not that Jason can really respond to them, he’s working after all, and Dick _is_ drunk. If Dick were ever sober, Jason would consider it.

( _“No, Steph, I can’t ask him out, that would be so fucking unprofessional!”_ )

The few times he’s not been alone, which has been every time in the last two weeks, he’s been with this red-haired dude who laughs at his antics, one arm wrapped around Dick’s back, supporting him as he staggers from the club or the party after one too many drinks. They’ve kissed once or twice in the back of his car, usually after Dick’s whined about not getting any. Jason casually interrupts with a tap on the ceiling and a pointed gesture towards the rules he’d printed out and stuck on the dashboard for all his pick-ups to see and hopefully follow. Red-haired dude does always look apologetic at that point. 

Jason’s pretty sure that this guy is Dick’s boyfriend, but hope keeps him from asking.

***

Dick heard somewhere that the amount of time it takes to get over a breakup is one week for each month, and then an extra four days after that. He’s not sure if it’s at all true, he’d only been dating Lucas for a couple of months, and yet somehow, he’s been nothing but a wreck. He hadn’t even been in love with Lucas, and yet, here he is, getting drunk on the weekend, trying to ignore how alone he feels. He knows the excessive partying is worrying his friends. Donna’s tried talking to him about it, Wally tried to convince him to stay in one night with a stack of movies to have a bitch fest, and both Kori and Barbara have expressed some concern.

Roy’s even taken to coming out with him to a) make him drink less, because Dick’s a notorious lightweight, b) stop him drunk dialling Lucas, who has not only moved on, but married an old ex of his, and c) make sure he actually makes it to his bed at night. Ever since Lian was born he’s turned into a total dad. Not that Dick’s complaining. It’s a good look on Roy, and it’s nice to have someone worry after him.

It has, unfortunately, meant that Dick’s spent more time to talking to Roy on the way home than to his new favourite Uber driver, who’s not only, nice and kind, but also so funny and hot. He’s never judged Dick for his drunkenness, or even his terrible attempts at flirting with him. Dick can admit he’s terrible at trying to get people to be interested in him. All his long lasting relationships, all three of them, had started with Kori, Barbara, and Lucas hitting on him. Any skills he may have had in the past have all rusted away to nothing.

***

Jason’s pretty happy with his life right now, and while he kind of wishes Dick were single, it’s not enough to ruin the good vibe he’s got going on. Until one day Roy gets into Jason’s car with his wife and little girl. 

At first Jason’s pretty sure that Dick’s boyfriend is hanging out with his sister and niece, as the kid is clearly hers, so the first happy “Daddy!” from the kid isn’t a warning sign. Divorced parents taking their kids out on a daytrip is actually kinda heartwarming in Jason’s opinion.

But then the ‘sister’ leans over and gives Dick’s boyfriend a long lingering kiss on the mouth, eyes sparking with amusement, and the guy doesn’t push her away.   
In fact he kisses back, and slides a possessive arm around her waist, telling her he can’t wait to get home. Which is when Jason spots the matching rings on their fingers.

Jason doesn’t say anything; he focuses on driving and tries not to let his blood boil at the fact Dick’s dating a cheater. 

***

And Jason keeps his temper until the next time he sees Dick, who for once is sober. At which point his temper explodes out of his control, and Jason blurts out a reckless “Uh, dude, your boyfriend is married! With a kid!”

Dick stares at him in the rear view mirror for a few long nerve racking moments until he opens his mouth to speak. “Bwuh? But I’m single?”

“The red-haired dude you’ve been with the last couple of times? Roy? Your boyfriend?” Jason says, fingers tightening on the steering wheel until it creaks ominously and he forces himself to relax his grip. “I picked him up the other day with his wife and kid. Look, it’s not my business, but from all your lame pick up lines you really seemed to want... I don’t know, long time monogamous commitment, and, well. He’s married.” 

“Oh. Ohhhhh. No, Jay, I’m not dating Roy!” Dick says, confusion clearing from his face. “Um, he’s a really old friend and is completely used to me getting a bit kissy with him when I’m drunk. We both know it doesn’t mean anything. So does his wife. It’s all cool. And oh my god, isn’t Lian great? What a kid!”

“Oh.” Jason says. “Uh. OK, good. You deserve better than to get cheated on. Sorry for bringing it up.” There’s a flash of pain on Dick’s face when Jason mentions cheating and Jason wants to kick himself. “She was pretty cool for an anklebiter.”

“Cooler than her dad, for sure.” Dick says with a laugh.

“So, um. If you’re not seeing anyone, you wanna go get a coffee sometime when I’m not working?” Jason says, knowing that it’s unprofessional, but god, he’s been staring at Dick’s face all these months and he might go a little mad if he doesn’t get the opportunity to try to kiss it at least once in his life.

“Yes please!” Dick says enthusiastically, making Jason slowly grin in surprise. “I mean, yes, that’d be great. I’d like that.”

“Awesome! It’ll be cool to actually look at you without the rear view mirror being involved.” Jason says and feels his heart somersault as Dick begins to blush. Fuck, he’s _cute_.

“Wait! Are you married, taken, or possible a serial killer?” Dick says, trying to keep a smile of his face but failing, and the combination of the flush and smile is killing Jason in the best way.

“No, no, and no.” Jason grins. “Although I should maybe ask you if you’re a serial killer too, but I know that answer to that.”

“Oh yeah?” Dick grins back at him. 

“Yeah, the statistically likelihood of there being two serial killers in one car is astronomical.” Jason says, keeping his face straight, even though Dick’s can’t really see it from the backseat.

“Very funny.” Dick says, rolling his eyes before leaning forward conspiratorially. “In that case I should tell you I _am_ a cereal killer. I get through three boxes of Crocky Crunch a week.”

“Damn boy! Ease off on that.” Jason says, eyebrows rising. Crocky Crunch is 98% sugar and 2% artificial green colouring. “That’s plain fucking unhealthily.”

“Make me.” Dick says with a challenge in his eyes when Jason flicks his gaze to the rear view mirror.

“Hey now, don’t forget, I know where you live.” Jason says, following it with a perfect bad guy cackle.

“If you’re trying to creep me out, it’s failing.” Dick says, chuckling at Jason’s laugh. “You’re too hot.”

“Jason Voorhees is crying into his cereal wondering where he went wrong with me.” Jason says fake mournfully, and Dick’s answering laugh makes his heart do flips in his chest.

“Should have bought you a mask.” Dick says with a grin as they pull up outside his apartment building. Dick gets out of the car, and leans into Jason’s open window, handing him a business card with a phone number on it. “So, you’ll call me to set up that coffee date?”

“Hell yes.” Jason says, gazing into Dick’s blue eyes and nearly getting lost in them. Dick drops a kiss onto his lips, and Jason can taste Choka Cola and warmth before Dick pulls back. 

“A little taste to keep you interested.” Dick says, eyes sparking with warmth.

“Hey, maybe I don’t kiss until the third date!” Jason says, unable to keep the smile of his face.

“Oh no, guess I better make sure we make it to at least four, or your reputation will be ruined in society!” Dick smirks, and Jason watches as his tongue peeks out to lick his lips.

“Get going before I drag you back into my car and kidnap you properly, Dickie.” Jason says, gripping the steering wheel in an attempt to stop himself from getting out after Dick.

“Sounds terrible. Stop tempting me, Jay.” Dick says, walking away with an added sway to his step. Jason watches with more enthusiasm than he usually does when Dick’s entering his building. It might be unprofessional, but damn if the boy isn’t worth it.


End file.
